Tag Archives: Relationships

Cheating in Relationships – Infidelity Signs You Should Watch Out For

Nowadays, it seems that cheating in relationships has become a trend. More and more couples are likely to fall out of love from each other and what’s worse is that they let go of a love that was once so strong and inspiring. Of course, cheating is never normal and it’s one mistake that is almost too unforgivable to bear. Trust is ruined and respect is nowhere — the passion that was once burning suddenly doesn’t have even a tiny spark anymore. Below are a few infidelity signs you should watch out for — and discover if your relationship is still worth a second try:

Lack of interest. You see or not see each other and it’s fine. You call or not, and it’s fine. You almost never even communicate anymore, and it’s fine. Lack of interest is already a severe sign that the relationship is going bad. Maybe you’ve both found another thing (or a somebody) that has gotten your interest that you never bothered to settle your issues and problems with each other anymore. Time to start communicating once again.
Indifference. You go out with some friends on a weekend night to go partying, beer drinking and getting all wasted and your partner isn’t all that bothered at all. You went out with an ex, you attended a common friend’s birthday and you decided to take a week long vacation. Normally this would strike as an issue but you’re both indifferent — your lover’s probably couldn’t care less because they have plans of their own.
Avoiding eye contact. You both can not seem to look into each other’s eyes anymore and your conversations are often limited to a few lines and grunts. Everything is blurred and you can’t even remember the last time you’ve talked for hours — and you always avoid talking about your day went.
No interest for sex. Admit it — when was the last time you torridly kissed or made love? Was it quite a while now that you can’t even remember anymore? Do you still take time to hold hands, hug, cuddle and get warm on the couch during a cold evening? Maybe you’re both busy getting warm with somebody else instead.
Can’t laugh with you anymore. Communicating and sharing few good old jokes is vital in keeping a relationship alive and romantic — laughing with your lover is not only a very heartwarming feeling, it solidifies your bond as a couple. If you can’t have a good time with your lover anymore, better hit the brakes. There’s a red light and it’s probably time to see if you have to break-up or not.

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Relationships and Cheating – How to Get Over It

Relationships and cheating go hand in hand. You know someone who has been cheated on, did someone cheat on you or was it you who cheated on your relationship?

Both the cheated and the cheater suffer pain from its effects. Whilst it is evident that the cheated suffers, the person actually cheating also suffers. He has to lie to keep what he is doing a secret and fell guilty about what he is hiding and doing. The guilt may be a real guilt or a secret guilt. And just because there was cheating in the relationship, it does not necessarily spark off its end.

Can you really make it work after you have been cheated on and you either never separated or managed to get back together again? What can you do to get over it and is he going to start doing it again? After there has been cheating, a relationship is going to be difficult to save and often cheating is a repetitive affair. Some couples, however, do manage to rebuild trust in their partner and stay to live happily together.

You must find out why your partner cheated on you to be able to know how far you can trust them in the future. Perhaps there were troubles in your relationship or did it happen because the situation just presented itself. Talk over the reasons calmly with your partner.

If it was out of boredom the time it happened when the occasion just presented itself, you probably have a serious problem. If the excuse for cheating on you is no better than that, you may find it difficult to forget the pain the cheating caused you and feel able to continue the relationship.

Where you were already having relationship problems your partner may have thought that the relationship was all but over anyway. If you were having problems, then your partner may have thought that the relationship was going to end anyway or they did not think about it or considered it did not matter. In any case their cheating was wrong, but at least you can understand the problem and you may be able to talk matters over between yourselves.

Concerning relationships and cheating, they are an odd cocktail and some couples manage to get on perfectly well afterwards. Often though, the person who has suffered the cheating cannot accept what has happened. They find it impossible to stay in a relationship where they can no longer trust their partner or expect the cheating will be repeated.

They are constantly suspicious and miserable as a result, and the other party may not appreciate being the butt of this suspicion. . If this has happened to you, you have to accept to trust your partner not to repeat the affair and hurt you again, however difficult this may be.

It is rarely easy when there has been cheating in a relationship.

I advise you both to read “The Magic of Making Up”, written by T ‘Dub’ Jackson. He has helped many people, in a similar situation to yours all over the world, to resolve their relationship problems successfully.
Joe Bisley
For further information click here http://magic-of-making-up-joebisley.blogspot.com
Joe Bisley writes articles about human relationship problems

Infidelity In Relationships And Handling Cheating

If you are afraid that the person you are with is cheating on you, then you need to really be sure before you make accusations. Sometimes it is easy to assume things and to fear the worst, often if you have insecurities, they might cause you to think the worst at times, but you need to make sure. At the same time, usually if you have suspicions or doubts, there is generally a reason and you want to make sure that you get to the bottom of it.

Resorting to snooping in your partner’s things is probably not the best idea, and that is why the first step is to just talk things out rationally and ask them if there is anything they would like to tell you. You want to have this conversation in a calm manner, as it will often take on an accusatory tone that might push the other person away into a fit of rage, whether they are or not warranted accusations. That’s why you really want to make sure you just put your fears and concerns on the table and see what the other person says. If he or she is cheating, they might come clean right then and there, but if not, then you need to listen to their explanation and then really trust your instinct.

If you are still not sure, then you need to discover where the source of your suspicion is coming from. This will take some self reflection and inner scrutiny. You will have to ask yourself why you think that person is cheating. Is it because he or she is acting different toward you? Do you feel them distant or strange? Did you catch them in a lie or some kind of fib? If that is the case, then you need to purse your suspicions further. But if you think that you have been feeling badly about yourself, maybe you have been performing poorly at work or you feel bad about your self image, then that could cause you to be projecting your personal feelings of inferiority out in your other aspects of life. You might assume that he or she is cheating because you just feel negative and in that case, it might be a case of misplaced suspicion.

But, if you really do think that something is off, and if your conversation has proved fruitless, then you need to figure out other means. First, try to keep some sort of tabs on the person’s accounts. Lies always unravel and if you think that you are being lied to, keep track of the various excuses that you get, or the stories that do not match up and start to figure out how much of what your partner is saying is true. If something does not connect or you catch him or her in a lie, then it is time to resort to doing some investigating. That means you might want to take a look at phone records or through email messages to see if anything really is going on. And if your suspicions really are very intense, you might want to follow them around just once or twice at the times when you think something is going on.

But, be sure not to let this become an obsession or something that consumes all your time. It is important to know the truth, but once you know it, or once you are fairly sure, you need to let go. You have to confront the person about what you know and then you have to leave because you deserve much better.

Roberto Sedycias works as an IT consultant for http://www.polomercantil.com.br/

Help on Cheating and Relationships – How to Overcome this

Relationships as well as being disloyal go hand in hand. You are aware of someone who has been cheated on, did someone cheat upon you or was it you who actually cheated on your marriage? Both the cheated along with the cheater undergo pain from its outcomes. Whilst it is evident that the cheated suffers, the person who is in fact disloyal as well suffers. He has to lie to keep exactly what he is doing a hidden secret as well as really feel guilty regarding exactly what he’s covering and doing. The shame may be a genuine remorse as well as a secret guilt. And also simply because there was disloyal within the relationship, it does not automatically spark off the end.

Can you truly make this function after you have been cheated on and you also never ever separated or perhaps managed to get back with each other yet again? What can you do to get over this as well as is he going to start engaging in it once again? After there has been an occurrence of unfaithful, a relationship is going to become tough to save and often being unfaithful is often a repetitive affair. Some partners, however, do handle to rebuild confidence with their other half as well as stay to live happily together.

You ought to learn why your partner cheated on you to be able to understand how far you can trust them in the long term. Maybe there were problems within your relationship or even did it occur simply because the scenario just shown itself. Speak over the causes calmly together with your wife or husband. If this was in fact out of boredom the time it occurred as soon as the occasion simply presented itself, you most likely have a very serious challenge. If the excuse for cheating on you is simply no better than that, you might discover it tough to overlook the agony the unfaithful triggered you and also really feel in a position to continue the marriage.

While you had been already having relationship challenges your husband or wife may have thought that the relationship was all but over anyway. When you were having problems, then your husband or wife might have thought that the relationship would end anyway or they did not necessarily feel regarding this as well as considered it did certainly not matter. In any case their cheating was wrong, however at least you could realize the issue as well as you may be able to talk issues over in between yourselves.

With regards to marriage and being unfaithful, some partners manage to get on wonderfully well later on. Usually though, the particular person who has suffered the disloyalty cannot agree to what has happened. They find it extremely hard to remain within a relationship where they can no longer believe in their wife or husband or anticipate the dishonesty will probably be repeated. They’re always distrustful as well as unpleasant as a result, and the other individual might not appreciate being at the receiving end of the suspicion.. If this has occurred to you, you’ve got to just accept to have faith in your spouse certainly not to repeat the extramarital affair and also hurt you all over again, however difficult this could be. It is rarely easy when there has been dishonesty inside a relationship.

Hope the above mentioned info on get over cheating husband would be beneficial to you. Gather more information such tips and suggestions on get over affair here.
– Author: Stephany Woods

Decoding Relationships and Cheating

Relationships and cheating don’t exist together. A relationship don’t allow the presence of cheating. Cheating causes easily the end of a relationship. It is considered as one of the most destructive behaviors to occur to a couple in a relationship.

 

You know, when you think about it relationships are the most amazing complexities. They are made linking two separate people with different values and perspectives on how things look and how they should work. Two people with very divergent needs and wants. Relationships are expected to flourish in the midst of blending all the distinctive and opposing conditions of each person. It is a wonder how any relationships survive. Many relationships do survive though and they can grow to be healthy and beneficial for both partners.

 

When a couple has come so far as to create a meaningful connection with each other then cheating is devastating. I am sure you know this. Sometime in your life you have either known someone who has been cheated on or have been cheated on yourself. Or…there is the other possibility…that you were the one doing the cheating. Whether you were the cheater or the cheatee (is that even a word?), it hurts.

 

The cheatee hurts because of the intense feeling of betrayal.

The cheater hurts because of the lying, secrecy and guilt.

It is a no win situation for all involved.

How will you ever get over it? Will it happen again?

 

The big factor here is going to be the trust factor. If you are ever going to be happy with your significant other again then either you have to forgive them and trust them or vice versa.

This is not going to be an easy accomplishment. In some cases it may not even be possible, but that’s something that the person who was cheated on has to consider and decide for him or herself.

 

The cheating situation could have occurred for a number of reasons. Possibly the cheater will say the affair meant nothing. It was a one night thing and it just happened. Just “happened”? I don’t understand that myself, but if the cheater is rather immature then I suppose it’s possible.

 

If you were having problems and the cheater thought the relationship between you was over then it could have happened. This is not giving them an excuse, but it could be the reason for infidelity in a relationship.

 

Either way the cheater was WRONG and they hurt the other person whom they are supposed to care for immensely.

 

The two of you must talk about it. Get it out in the open. Realize the cause and see if you can mend the relationship. In many cases, the cheating is not the real problem. Cheating is merely the symptom of another problem. Be honest with each other. Discover if there is something deeper, more problematic than just cheating.

 

Then the person who was cheated on has to decide whether they can forgive and trust again. It’s not easy, but that is not to say that it can’t be done. Many couples have managed to survive an affair.

 

Staying in the relationship when there is no trust is a miserable basis for a relationship though. The constant suspicions are agonizing and uncomfortable for both people involved. Understand the situation, look at it from the other’s point of view and determine if there is truly a desire for reconciliation in the relationship and cheating situation.

 

Want to know more? Read about Building Relationships

Relationships: Why Do Some People Cheat?

When it comes to describing why some people cheat, it is certainly not a black and white answer. So based on my current level of awareness and intelligence; I will do my best to give some answers to this question.

Three Experiences

I believe that in order to understand or at least try to understand why some people cheat; we need to look at three experiences. What I mean here is that there is the experience of the person who cheats, there is the experience of the person who has been cheated on and there is also the literal experience that is seen by others.

The literal experience

So let’s start off with the literal experience. Here judgments are made and one person is typically seen as a victim and the other is seen as the perpetrator. One person is classed as good and the other as bad.

There is usually questions asked, as to why the person has cheated, but these are rarely deep questions. It is also unlikely that any questions would be asked; as to why the other person has been cheated on.

The Person Who Cheats

This person has one of two options as to how they go about dealing with the conflict and pain that has been created by their actions.

They can feel a sense of regret and remorse within. Beating themselves up mentally and emotionally for the choice they have made. This will also cause incredible guilt and even shame.

It is also possible for the person to feel justified in their actions.

Perhaps the person’s needs were not being met in the relationship or feel that it is not possible for the relationship to meet there needs. It could be that their partner cheated before and now they feel as though they are getting their own back.

Justification is usually a defence mechanism the ego mind uses to protect itself. It does not take much thought to see that one can justify pretty much anything.

The above options could also go in cycles and alternate; based on different internal and external factors. One could feel guilty for their actions one moment and justified for their actions in the next.

The Person Who Has Been Cheated On

Here the person is likely to feel betrayed and betrayal at the deepest level of their being. The term heartbroken comes to mind here, with a feeling that the heart has been ripped out and now all that resides there is emptiness.

One can feel as though their life is over and that they have nothing to live for any more. This can also create feelings of being powerless and of having no control.

The Two Experiences

As we look at the two main experiences it becomes clear to see that they are each having a subjective experience.

So now let’s look at this from a deeper level and see what might cause a person to cheat and also what might be going on for the other person who is being cheated on.

The Person Who Cheats

So what is going on in the mind of the person who cheats? There is of course general views on why women would cheat and why men cheat. These include mans need to procreate with as many women as possible for ‘evolutionary reasons’. And women are often viewed as being ’emotional creatures’ that have no control.

Evolution

The evolutionary answer is obviously legitimate and carries some truth. However, by using this as an answer; it says that men have no control of their actions and are therefore not responsible either. They are at the whim off there body because of evolution. And for someone who is a conscious human being and not an animal; this answer will not suffice.

What this answer does not take into account is that both men and women are usually motivated at an emotional level. And what causes this motivation is the desire to have ones needs fulfilled. And these needs that are calling out to be met are to do with the here and now or the past that has not been processed.

Needs

These needs could be classed as ‘higher’ and more evolved needs or ‘lower’ and less evolved needs. Depending on how conscious and evolved one is, will define what their primary needs are and whether their ‘lower’ needs have been met. They are classed as lower, not because they are less important than the higher needs but because they exist lower in the body and are to do with ones survival.

Inner child

These lower needs typically create conflict when ones inner child carries trauma. And this causes these needs to be unmet. The needs that I am talking about consist of being: accepted, validated, nurtured, loved and approved. Although these needs are years old, they still need to be acknowledged and validated. If they are not looked, they will control one’s life. Ones behaviour is then likely to be reactive and unconscious as a result.

The reason for this is that unless the original trauma has been validated, observed and processed or at least observed; the inner child will take over and continue to create the same inner and outer conflict. One will lose their self of self. And from this place of merging with the inner child, these needs can never be met, they are insatiable. One will continue to play out the same patterns and stories of the past.

Playing Out The Past

By cheating on another person there might also be a sense of revenge, and revenge that is really meant for an original caregiver. Here the unprocessed past is now being projected onto the present person in one’s life

Conclusion

So whether someone will cheat will partly depend on how conscious they are and on their relationship to their inner child. Because if one is operating purely from the body, ones awareness will be extremely limited and one will be completely unaware of what consequences might occur from their actions. All that is on their mind is the fulfilment of their current needs or impulses. The ability of the heart to empathise is basically out of use or has been bypassed.

Emotional Creatures

I believe that describing women as emotional creatures or as being from another planet just creates more confusion. When in reality, women just like men, have masculine and feminine traits within. If they are over emotional and act in irresponsible ways; it shows that they also have inner child work to do.

The Person Who Has Been Cheated On

It is natural for the person to feel like a victim and that all of the feelings that they are experiencing are being caused by the person who cheated on them. And all that happens during this time needs to be honoured, validated and grieved.

However, does another person really have the power to cause another person to feel rejected, abandoned, powerless and empty for example? Does ones wellbeing really rest upon another?

History Revisited

What I believe is actually occurring here is the past that has not been processed, is appearing once more. And that the reason these emotions and feelings are so intense is because old unprocessed wounds, relating to original caregivers, are being opened.

This will not be realised unless one has some kind of inner awareness. And all of the unprocessed feelings of rejection, abandonment, loss, betrayal, powerlessness, hopelessness and the emotions of anger, frustration and resentment that still exist from the original trauma in ones childhood; will now be projected onto the present partner.

Vulnerable

It could also be said that if one has experienced intense abandonment and rejection as a child, it will make them vulnerable to experiencing them as an adult. There might even be an expectation that the partner will leave them, just like their caregivers/s did.

Self Sabotage

Feelings of low self worth are created through these early experiences of neglect and this can lead to self sabotage. Here one can unconsciously act in ways that will push the other person away and to go with another person. The reason for this that the ego mind came to associate the early experiences as being safe and now as a result of this; continues to create the same patterns in the present.

Conclusion

This shows how important it is for one to become conscious of their past and to process it. Because all that has not been looked at will influence ones present life. It will define what kind of people one will attract and on the quality of the relationships that one has.

Symbolic Relationships

A relationship can lead to the loss of one’s individual identity; however it does not remove the fact that one is having their own unique experience. And this experience is allowing one to become aware of all that needs to be processed for one to become a whole human being. The past that is unfinished and unprocessed is being brought up to the surface through the relationships that one has with others.

However, this involves looking at relationships symbolically, as opposed to literally. Observing what happens instead of getting emotionally trapped by what happens and the ‘drama’ of the experience.

Occurrences like enmeshment and dependency cause one to lose their sense of self. This is partly down to having boundaries that are nonexistent and this allows dysfunctional relationships to occur. This can lead to the illusion of being incomplete and empty and that one needs another to feel whole.

This is a common idea and belief in our society, but it is one that is both false and dysfunctional. And one that has the potential to create years of needless confusion and suffering. This shows that a new paradigm is required in our society, when it comes to the purpose of a relationship.

 

My name is Oliver J R Cooper and I been have been interested in self enquiry for over eight years. For just over a year, I have been expressing my understandings with these transformational writings. One of my intentions is to be a catalyst to others, as other people have been and continue to be to me.

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