Tag Archives: Mean

Witcher 3 dev explains what Golden Joystick Awards really mean to the studio

Witcher 3 dev explains what Golden Joystick Awards really mean to the studio
The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt developer CD Projekt RED took home the award for Studio of the Year at the 2015 Golden Joystick Awards, while Wild Hunt itself was the most-awarded game of the show (tied with Grand Theft Auto 5). In light of this, GamesRadar+ …
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Why Men Cheat – What Does This Mean For You?

What are the reasons that lead men to cheat?  Are some men just designed to be that way?  Do they understand the feelings of betrayal and the repercussions that come with cheating?  This can be quite a traumatic problem if you are the victim of this type of betrayal.  Read on for some advice on why men cheat and what you can do to deal with it.

If you want to try to understand the actions, or at least decide whether your relationship is worth making an effort to work through this, the first thing you need to do is find out why your man cheated on you.  Cheating occurs because of unhappiness – either yours or his.  That’s correct; it could be the result of your actions also.

It might be hard to believe, but men do sense a loss of connection with their woman.  Perhaps the great closeness you once shared has disappeared, or the relationship seems to have taken on a constant negative atmosphere.  Are you always complaining or staying on his case about anything and everything?  Do you think that he might feel neglected or unsure of your feelings for him?

Any of these scenarios would reflect unhappiness for both of you.  Work with your guy and discuss the issues until you truly get to the bottom of the problem.  Then, you need to decide what course of action is right for you.

Depending on your decision, there are a few points you need to keep in mind.  If you decide to give your relationship another try, you cannot continually use your man’s transgression against him.  You must leave it in the past, or else you will never be able to move forward.  Also, if you feel that you can never really get over the betrayal, then it is best to just call everything off.  You have to release the hurt completely or your efforts will be useless.

Dealing with cheating is so very difficult, but you can use this advice to understand why men cheat.  The followup requires just as much thought, so take your time and decide what is right for you.

Imagine what if you could make any man adore you, chase you, love you, and commit to you? Click Unforgettable Woman Advice and learn 77 Secrets that 99% of women have never heard. You have got to see this!

This article is contributed by Tina Jones from the Unforgettable Woman Publishing Team. She works together with founder Alexandra Fox and writes dating/relationship articles for women. You can find more about Unforgettable Woman Publishing by visiting their website.

If My Husband is Lying, Does That Mean He’s Cheating Too?

The other day, I received an email from a wife who said she had either caught her husband in, or suspected him of, “several little white lies.”  Examples were that he told her that he was at work, but when she called, the receptionist said he wasn’t there.  He told her that he was with a friend and coworker, but when she mentioned this outing to the co worker’s wife, she only got a blank stare. There were other things that didn’t add up, as well as omissions and slip ups that just didn’t make any sense.  She had the suspicion that these lies were pointing to something else – namely, cheating. She wanted to know if a man’s lying is an indication that he was also cheating, or is a lie sometimes just a lie? I’ll address this in the following article.

The Rare Occasions When Lying Is Innocent: There are some rare occasions when your partner will lie to you for what they think is your own good. An example is if they are saying they are at work and are planning a surprise for you.  Or, they say that are at work because they don’t want you to know that they’ve lost their job. However, these things will become apparent soon enough and they often are not paired with lies that stretch on for a certain period of time or other odd behaviors. And often, the feeling that you get from this type of “little white lie” is quite different than the alarm bells that are going off in your head when something truly is wrong.

When He’s Making A Habit Out Of Lying: Repetitive lying doesn’t necessarily always mean cheating, but it is laying a foundation that never leads to good and healthy things.  A man who makes a habit out of lying or who becomes so good at it that this behavior becomes second nature to him is someone that you should keep an eye on.  Sure, it may be totally innocent, but you have to look at it as, at best, as a way that he is distancing himself from and deceiving you (even if that is not his conscious intention.)  Neither of these things are behaviors that you want in your marriage.  I’m often asked if you should confront him about this.  My answer is often that you shouldn’t until you have more information.  First off, you don’t want to be wrong.  And second, you don’t want to go in unprepared.

When Lies, Actions, And Feelings Point To Cheating: Often, it’s not only his lies that are giving you a bad vibe.  You’ll also notice a distance between you.  He may start to be critical or negative. He may not give you as much of his attention and time.  In short, he is simply somewhere else.  So, it’s often not just the lies that worry you.  It’s the lies mixed in with the totality of the situation.  It just feels off.  This is often when most people tune into the fact that something is potentially quite wrong.  And it’s at this point that you will have to make a decision as to whether you want to pursue this until you find out the truth or if you want to hope for the best and just pray that you are wrong.

Because often, your husband is not going to come out and admit what has been going on.  He’s been able to lie all along so it is highly unlikely that he is going to suddenly come out with the truth. He’ll often try to turn things around on you or to tell you that you’re being overly paranoid or too emotional.

How To Find Out If His Lying Means He’s Also Cheating: The easiest way to follow up is to simply go down the road that his lies take you.  If you catch him saying he’s working late but isn’t, then your goal should be to find out where he really is and why he is lying about it.  There are many ways to start to achieve this.  Often you will find your first clues and his cell phone or computer.  This is an easy way to check up without him knowing that you are doing so and without appearing to be the one who is over reaching.

You can see everything that has been happening on his computer with relatively inexpensive and hard to track software. You can run a reverse look up on his phone so that you will know exactly who he has been talking to and texting and you can easily follow up and dig this down.  This way, you will have the information yourself without having to depend on him to give it to you, since he’s been lying to you all along anyway.  Sometimes, it turns out that he’s not cheating and sometimes he is, but at least you will have the luxury of knowing without dealing with the torment of having to guess if you’re being cheated on as well as lied to. 

I was in this same situation a short time ago. I tried to confront my husband too soon, before I had proof, and of course he denied everything. I tried to believe him, but the doubts remained. I decided that I really wanted to know the truth, no matter what that truth was. I learned how to get concrete information and proof that my husband thought that he had hid and erased. Once I presented this to him, he had no choice but to come clean. You can read my very personal story at http://catch-the-cheating.com/.

If a Man Accuses You of Cheating Does That Mean That He Himself is Cheating? Here’s My Opinion

The other day, I received an email in which the writer’s husband had suddenly begun exhibiting some strange behaviors and accusations. Recently, he had begun accusing her of cheating, seemingly out of the blue.  She had also noticed that he wasn’t spending as much time at home, was distracted, and seemed to find fault with her and the marriage on a much more frequent basis.  In short, he was just acting weird and distant and was giving off some strange vibes.  She wanted to know: “does my husband’s accusing me of cheating mean that he is cheating on me?” I’ll tell you my take on this question in the following article.

Is His Accusing You Of Cheating An Attempt To Take The Attention Away From Himself?:  The reasoning behind this theory goes something like this.  Your husband is cheating but in an attempt to throw you off of that trail, he’ll throw accusations at you.  He hopes that you’ll be so busy defending yourself and trying to prove this isn’t true, that you won’t notice his own strange behaviors. 

And often, a man who has been cheating spends a lot of time thinking about being deceptive and not getting caught.  This can cause a bit of paranoia on his part because his reality is all about not leaving clues. So, he’s looking for and noticing those clues from you (even if they aren’t really there) since he’s spending so much time trying to cover his own tracks.

This may or may not be what is happening.  It could well be that there is a reason for him to feel insecure about the relationship or that he’s going through his own issues right now that have little to do with the reality of the situation.  And, these issues may or may not include him cheating.  It can be important to consider if he’s exhibited this kind of insecurity or accusations before or if they are seemingly coming out of no where and coupled with his own suspect behavior.

Taking The Entire Situation Into Account: If your husband or boyfriend is cheating, there will often be many more clues than just him accusing you of having an affair or cheating. He will likely exhibit suspicious behavior of his own.  You’ll likely notice changes in the relationship.  There are often stereotypes that this means less attention, less sex, less intimacy, etc.  This is sometimes true, but it can also go the other way.

Sometimes, a man who is cheating will suddenly not be able to keep his hands off of you.  He may actually give you more attention and ask for more intimacy and pay you more attention.  This can happen for various reasons.  Sometimes he is feeling guilty and other times he just wants to defer suspicion.

Learn More Before You Accuse Him Or Cheating On You: Before you try to turn the tables on him and tell him that you think it’s HIM who is cheating, spend some time observing to see if you can find out the truth on your own before you approach him. You should wait to bring this up for a few reasons.  First, you could be wrong. Second, if you are right then then you don’t want to approach him until you have absolute and concrete proof.  He’s already shown you that he is more than capable of turning the tables and blaming you for his behavior.  Don’t give him any way to continue doing this.

If you’re noticing weird or reoccurring phone calls, run the number through reverse look up. Check out the call log, photos, and texts or video on his mobile phone and run those through the records also.  Consider software on your computer or phone that will allow you to check up on him undetected.  The best case scenario is that neither of you are cheating and you can then address the issues between you.  But, if there is cheating going on and it isn’t you, then you deserve to know what you are dealing with.  It is unfair that you are accused of cheating when actually, you are being cheated on.

I was in this same situation a short time ago. I tried to confront my husband too soon, before I had proof, and of course he denied everything. I tried to believe him, but the doubts remained. I decided that I really wanted to know the truth, no matter what that truth was. I learned how to get concrete information and proof that my husband thought that he had hid and erased. Once I presented this to him, he had no choice but to come clean. You can read my very personal story at http://catch-the-cheating.com/

If A Husband Cheats Or Has An Affair, Does It Mean He Wants A Divorce?

I recently heard from a wife who theorized that her husband had deliberately planned and then had an affair as a way to end his marriage. She felt that his cheating was his passive aggressive way to obtain a divorce because he was too cowardly to ask for one in any other way. She asked, in part: “do some men cheat because they want a divorce? I suspect that my husband is guilty of this. Our marriage had been struggling for a while and I’d repeatedly asked him to go to counseling or to help me improve our marriage but I got no cooperation from him. I even asked him if he wanted a separation or a divorce but he never gave me an honest answer. A few months later, he cheated and didn’t make much of an effort to hide it from me. It’s almost as if he wanted to be caught. And since he knows that infidelity is unacceptable to me and grounds for divorce, I think that his cheating was part of a plan to end the marriage. The weird thing is, now that the affair is out in the open, I’m not sure if I want a divorce. But I offered him one anyway and he resisted this. He said that he just wants to wait and see what happens. So this leaves me with a lot of questions. Did he cheat because he knew I would divorce him? And if so, why isn’t he jumping at the chance to divorce me when I’m offering him this chance?”

These were all very heavy questions that I wasn’t going to be able to directly answer. And when the wife confronted her husband about this issue, he completely denied it. He told his wife that her theory just didn’t make any sense. Why would he need to cheat to end his marriage when he could simply ask his wife for a divorce if he wanted one? Why would he involve another person and hurt other people if all he had to do was file divorce papers to end his marriage? The wife couldn’t answer these questions and neither could I.

However, I do have some insights into this as I dialog with many people on both sides of the issue.

People cheat and have affairs for many varied reasons. And, sometimes a man’s behaviors before and after the cheating gives us clues into his motivations and intentions. I will discuss this more in the following article.

Some Husbands Do Cheat As A Reaction To Issues Within Their Marriage Or As A Way To Get Their Wife’s Attention. But Not Every One Who Cheats Or Has An Affair Wants To End Their Marriage: It’s not out of the question for a man to use an affair to help him facilitate a divorce or to bring about the end of his marriage. Many people assume that when people cheat or have affairs, they always do so in secret and hope that their spouse will never find out. This isn’t true for every one. It’s very common to hear men say that they were almost hoping to get caught because, for whatever reason, they were trying to get their spouse’s attention or to get a very dramatic reaction.

The reasons for this vary. Sometimes, they are angry with their wife. Sometimes, they feel undeserving of her. Other times, they are dealing with their own personal issues. However, this doesn’t mean that all men who cheat are hoping for a divorce (although some are.) Some hope that the cheating will make their wife see that he wants more of her time, appreciation, or affection.

Others have more negative motivations and use the cheating as a “pay back” for some perceived slight or as a way to show his wife that others can appreciate him or find him attractive, even if she doesn’t. (Of course, this isn’t at all fair, but this is what some men will tell you.) However, the wife in this situation didn’t feel that any of these things rang true for her. She felt pretty sure that her husband’s infidelity was meant to be the first step in her husband divorcing her.

What If Your Husband Initially Cheated As A Way To End The Marriage, But He Isn’t Pursuing A Divorce Now?: The wife in this situation just couldn’t understand why the husband was hesitating to divorce her when she was all but filing the papers herself. Everything was out in the open and the wife was offering him a relatively quick and drama free divorce. She couldn’t understand his hesitation to take her up on this.

People change their minds all of the time. A decision that was made in haste and out of negative emotions doesn’t usually turn out to be the right decision and people sometimes realize this before it is too late. I’ve dialogued with men in this situation and many will tell you that once they saw the pain on their wife’s face, the cheating and the aftermath of it suddenly became very “real” to them. And it’s sometimes at this point that they realize that they really don’t want to hurt their wife or end their relationship with her. Is it fair for them to aggressively cheat and then to change their mind about their marriage? No, it’s not. But this is what sometimes happens.

You can usually tell whether your husband hopes or intends for the cheating to end the marriage by how he acts once everything is out in the open. Some men will push for a divorce right away and others will stop short of this and will show some hesitation at ending the marriage. Sometimes, a man’s intentions change once they see your reaction or get a taste of life without you. Of course, whether you are open to saving the marriage has to be up to you. Part of this process is asking yourself if you can address and then fix the issues that led to his making a choice to cheat in the first place. Some couples are willing and able to do this and some aren’t.

So, to answer the question posed, yes some men do cheat because they want a divorce, but many do not. And some initially have this intention out of haste or anger but end up changing their minds later and very much regretting their actions.

I know that you are likely going through a very difficult time, but you sometimes do have a choice as to whether your marriage ends. Although it appeared that my husband’s affair was going to mean the end of our marriage, we eventually pulled it together and worked things out. In fact, although I never would’ve believed this two years ago, after some struggles, my marriage is stronger than ever after my husband’s affair. It took a lot of work, and I had to play the game to win, but it was worth it. Because of all the work I did on myself, my self esteem is in tact. I no longer worry my husband will cheat again. If it helps, you can read more about that very personal story and what worked for me and what didn’t at http://surviving-the-affair.com

 

Katie Lersch writes articles about moving past an affair.  Her corresponding blog is at http://surviving-the-affair.com/.  Her article website is at http://katie-lersch-articles.com