Tag Archives: Forgive

How to Forgive Your Cheating Husband After His Affair

You are facing a problem to forgive your cheating husband after his affair. You cannot help to feel angry each time you think about his affair. You want to clear out all these unwanted emotions because it is affecting the way you treat this marriage. How can you forgive your cheating husband completely?

You are flabbergasted that your husband will cheat you again. I am sure your husband has already explained to you the real issues for cheating on you. Since you have acknowledged the reasons, work on it to improve the marriage.

Learn to let go of your resentment and forgive about his affair. Only you will understand him the best whether he is sincere to keep this marriage. If you want to respect and trust your cheating husband again, then forgive him completely. If not, you will continue to live your life in doubts about him and these unhealthy emotions will only bring you unhappiness and pain.

Be honest and talk to your husband openly. Let him know how he can assure you to regain back a healthy relationship. It can take months or years for you trust him again, so be patient. You will slowly regain back the faith in this marriage.

Think about the people around you. It is not only your needs to be considered, but also people around you. People like your children, parents and friends will also be affected when both of you are not coping well in the marriage. The most direct to go through the pain with you will be your children. You will only hurt them more because they are also facing an unhappy marriage together with you. Be confident in your judgement. You are not alone to face this challenge, seek counselling from people who have been through this and have managed to survive through an affair.

You will need more time to forgive and forget the whole incident. Apply these Proven Marriage Tips on how to Forgive Your Cheating Husband after his affair on a daily basis. It will help you to go through this difficult time to believe him again.

He Cheated Once – Should I Forgive Him?

Infidelity is one of the most difficult issues for any couple involved in a relationship to work out. If this has happened to you, you are probably caught up in the dilemma of wondering if it will happen again and whether or not you should forgive him. The big question is, if he cheated once will he do it again? There are no hard and fast rules, but for some insight into the situation, keep reading.

Why did he cheat on you?

Guys cheat on their girlfriends for a variety of reasons. If, for instance, he was trying to “teach you a lesson” because you weren’t always available to him when he wanted intimacy, you might take a tiny share of the blame. Cheating is not something that is easily excused, but if you recognize that you may have had some small role in his decision to cheat on you, it might be possible to work it out and forgive him.

You can try talking to him about it and give him a chance to explain his behavior. If he seems genuinely remorseful and swears that you are really his “one and only” and he’ll never cheat on you again, you might give him a second chance.

If you’ve been in a relationship with him for a long time and this is the only time he has cheated, there might be a chance that you can work it out. If you’ve only been with him a short time, however, it is unlikely that he will remain faithful once he has begun to cheat.

If he cheated once, he’ll probably do it again

The sad fact is that most guys who cheat once are serial cheaters who will probably do it again. That means that even if you forgive him and continue in the relationship you are likely to be hurt over and over. Some guys simply don’t believe in monogamous relationships and you may have been unfortunate enough to get involved with one of those. If that appears to be the case, you should consider moving on.

The good news is that there are a lot of men out there who do believe in monogamy and will be completely faithful to a woman with whom they are in love. Of course it’s difficult to tell at the beginning of a relationship if a guy is a cheater, but, having been burned once, you will probably be better equipped to figure it out early on. It doesn’t hurt to have a discussion on fidelity before you get too deeply involved in a relationship.

Unfortunately, it is almost a given that if he cheated on you once, he will do it again. Only you can decide if the relationship is worth taking another chance on him, but chances are it is better for you to break it off before he has a chance to do it again.

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Husband’s Cheating Put Family At Risk ? Do I Forgive Him?

The discovery of your husband’s cheating will put a sharp and hot knife through your heart, and the pain can be devastating. Yet this is not all. His affair will put your whole family at great peril, particularly if you have some children.

Such a threat may not have anything to do with their physical well-being, but it will be very real nevertheless. An affair shakes the very foundations of a family, and the children may be destabilized badly. In any case, the kids will hardly be happy when they sense that the parents are not happy themselves.

As much as you feel great pain about your husband’s betrayal, you will still need to make some crucial decisions. You will be faced with two big choices, none of which will be easy. You will have to make up your mind whether you want to forgive him and re-establish your relationship or go your separate way and start a new life.

In spite of the great pain you feel, it will not be easy to simply walk away from the family you built together. Even if there are no children, the dreams and plans you have worked on together will not be easy to forget, let alone the wonderful times you have shared. However, deciding to stay will not make things easier either. Overcoming the pain will be very challenging.

How you can forgive him

If you decide that you want to rebuild your relationship, you will need to forgive your husband first of all. This is easier said than done because of your great heartbreak.

You will also need to forgive yourself, as there are high chances that you have been rather harsh with yourself since your discovery of the betrayal. You are probably blaming yourself entirely for his misdeed.

Let your husband know plainly that you have forgiven him. Tell it to him straight. Then you need to tell yourself that you have indeed forgiven him. Keep repeating “I forgive him” until you come to believe it. Although doing this may appear rather foolish, it really does work – and that it what is important.

Prepare a list of things that you truly love about your husband. Having something that you can look at and see the ways you appreciate him is very important at this time, as you will hardly see those qualities when you look at him. There is another advantage of doing this.

When you take your time to write down the things you love in him, you will actually be able to reflect on the wonderful moments you have shared together.

Find and fix the problems

People who are in genuinely happy relationships do not go out and cheat. If you are not aware of any problems in your marriage, make an effort to find them. Once you have determined the problems, you will need to find the best way of fixing them.

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4 Ways To Get Your Husband To Forgive You For Cheating

You might think getting your husband to forgive you for cheating is a long shot at best. Just remember, the long shot does sometimes win the race. It is up to you to create better odds for yourself. In order to do this you might have to “up the stakes” a little bit in your mind. Remember your marriage is on the line and nobody wins if your marriage is the casualty. Here are a few things you can do to give yourself a little edge in the race to the finish for your marriage.

1) Hold your head high. Not only does keeping your head high mean that you still have the high spirit and backbone that made your husband fall in love with you in the first place it also helps you keep your eye on the prize. It is not a good thing to have an affair but if you keep beating yourself up over it and cannot forgive yourself how can you expect your husband to forgive you. As hard as it seems now, you must hold your head high and keep your eyes trained on the goal. There is too much to lose if you do not.

2) Keep your eyes on what is in front of you. It’s real easy to focus on how you stumbled out of the gate or how the competition might be catching up to you. If you lose sight of the competition that is ahead of you or dangers in the straightaway you’ll miss an important part of the big picture. You can’t avoid the pitfalls in front of you if your eyes are trained on what’s behind you.

3) Want, really want, the prize in store. This is so much more than a race for fame, fortune, or a really nice smelling necklace. This race is everything and the prize on the line is your marriage. You have to really want to save your marriage to make this work. If you’re ambivalent about it at all you aren’t going to be willing to work hard enough to make things right and it would be a complete and total waste of your time and his.

4) Be prepared to get a little dirty. You know they say that all is fair and love and war. This is the battle of your love life and you might have to play a little dirty. Use your wiles in every way you know how. Remind him of all the reasons he loves you and show him just how much you love him. Rain or shine, this is a race to the finish and the cost of failure is too much to comprehend.

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Should I Forgive a Cheating Man? How to Decide What to Do

You’ve just found out that the man you’ve been seeing has been cheating on you and now you’re wondering what to do. You thought you had a reasonably good relationship, but the fact that he cheated has you seriously wondering if you should end the relationship. The question you are now asking yourself is “should I forgive a cheating man?” It’s a tough one, but keep reading for some insights on how to decide.

A troubled relationship

When a man cheats on you, it is usually because he is unhappy with your relationship for one reason or another. Maybe he doesn’t feel as special as he used to. Perhaps you’ve been arguing a lot. Whatever it is, a certain number of men will try to find the solution by cheating with another woman instead of talking it over with their partner.

Try to get him to talk

If he asks for your forgiveness, try to get him to talk about why he cheated as well as what he finds troubling about your relationship. Keep it low-key. If you do decide to forgive him you will have to set aside the fact that he cheated and try to move forward with your relationship.

Continually reminding him that he cheated may help to relieve your anger, but it will only remind him why he cheated in the first place and that’s really not in your best interest. Sure, he was wrong – he did a terrible thing – but if you decide to forgive him you have to avoid holding it over his head. If you find you can’t forgive him, that’s ok too. It has to be one way or the other, though. There really is no middle ground.

If you do decide to forgive him you will naturally proceed with caution. It’s really difficult rebuilding a trust that has been violated. You can take a good look at your relationship to see what you can do differently, but don’t assume that it’s your fault he cheated. It was his decision and now it’s up to him to make it up to you.

It’s ok if you can’t forgive him

Many women believe that a man who cheats once will inevitably cheat again. If you feel that way, it will be better for both of you if you end the relationship. It’s true that there are some men who find it difficult to be faithful to one woman, and your guy could fall into that category. At some point, you have to be true to yourself and if that means finding a new guy who doesn’t cheat, so be it!

The bottom line is, only you can answer the difficult question “should I forgive a cheating man?”

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Can I Forgive My Husband For Cheating – When You Can’t Forgive Your Cheating Husband

Can I Forgive My Husband For Cheating

I often get emails from wives who tell me that although they’ve endlessly tried to forgive their husband’s cheating, infidelity, or affair, they’ve just not been able to. Many confess this as though it’s an awful kind of failure that’s caused by some place where they fell short. And, many assume that since they can’t forgive, they won’t be able to save the marriage or even to move on in a healthy way. Can I Forgive My Husband For Cheating

This is upsetting because the wives act as if they’ve done something wrong or that forgiveness is an indication of a “good” or well adjusted person. The thing is, cheating is a huge blow to you as a person and to your marriage. Forgiveness for it is not always going to come easily or quickly. It’s not fair to second guess or to beat yourself up if you can’t forgive within some arbitrary time frame. And quite frankly, you can begin to rebuild and to heal before you’re ready to forgive entirely. I will discuss this more in the following article.

Forgiveness For Cheating Is Not Something That Should Be Forced Or Not Given Freely: Most (if not all) of the wives who contact me feel intense pressure to offer forgiveness. And most feel that they are failing in some way if they’re not able to offer it. This is an unfair assumption. Sometimes, it takes a good deal of time to evaluate how the situation is progressing to determine how you feel and how you want to proceed. It’s not advisable to rush this process or allow yourself to make a decision before you know what’s going to happen.

Many times, the husband, family, or friends are pressuring the wife. But other times, it’s she who is pressuring herself. The thing is, this is a painful process. It’s perfectly naturally to want for this to “go away” and be resolved as quickly as possible. And many of us assume that offering forgiveness as quickly as we can is the first step toward moving forward. It doesn’t have to work this way. Don’t force yourself to take an either / or stance.

There is nothing wrong with waiting until you are ready, have what you need, or until you possess the information required before you make a decision. And sometimes, this just takes a while and requires for some healing to occur BEFORE you are ready to forgive. This doesn’t mean that you’ve failed or that anything is wrong with you. It just means that you’re being honest and taking things at the pace that works for you. Frankly, it’s truly up to you to set the pace. Everyone is going to have an opinion and some might try to pressure you. It’s so vital that you be your own best advocate because everyone else’s needs and wants are not always going to be in your own self interests.

There’s Nothing Wrong With Taking A “Wait And See” Approach To Forgiving His Cheating: Sometimes, when wives tell me that they can’t forgive, they’ll add in a comment like “I guess this means we can’t save our marriage.” Usually when I ask why they feel this way, they’ll answer with something like: “well isn’t forgiveness required in order to save the marriage after cheating?” Eventually, forgiveness most certainly does help. Can I Forgive My Husband For Cheating

But, there’s absolutely nothing that says you can’t start the process while the jury is still out. Quite frankly, I’m rather sure that there are plenty of marriages that were saved after cheating where the faithful spouse wasn’t at all sure how things were going to turn out and then was just as surprised as anyone when the marriage made it through this. You don’t have to have to have all of the answers to save your marriage or to even move on in a healthy way.

You can most certainly take a “wait and see” approach and see how things unfold before you form any opinions. Admittedly, this isn’t the stance that most cheating husbands would prefer. They would rather you forgive them and “move on” immediately. But, in my experience, this is an unrealistic and unfair request. Sometimes, we need to see if he’s made good on his promises and how he acts in the months following the cheating before we have enough information to even think about forgiveness. This is understandable and it’s not too much to ask.

If you’re being pressured by your husband to forgive, there’s nothing wrong with saying that you haven’t made that decision yet and need to see what happens in the days ahead before you can make that call. You might offer reassurance that you’ll still be present and you have an open mind, but be firm on the fact that you won’t be pressured into making this commitment until you’re ready to do so.

If Some Time Has Gone By And You Want To Forgive But Can’t, See If You Can Determine What’s Missing: Sometimes, I hear from wives who tell me that the cheating happened several months or years ago and they’ve still not been able to forgive. Much of the time, they are clearly still invested in the marriage and they really do want to forgive, but just can’t seem to cross over.

In these cases, I often tell the wives to take a very thorough inventory to see what they need but haven’t yet received. Sometimes, they don’t feel as though their husband is truly sorry. Sometimes, they don’t believe he truly loves them. Other times, they are not satisfied that he or the marriage has been rehabilitated. And quite frequently, their self esteem has taken such a huge blow that they don’t know what to believe anymore.

If any of these things describe you, then sometimes you’re going to have to ask for, demand, or make sure that you get what you need. Because in order to be able to genuinely forgive, you have to know in your heart that it’s deserved. Can I Forgive My Husband For Cheating

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How Do I Forgive My Husband For Cheating – Should I Forgive My Cheating Husband Just Because I Love Him?

How Do I Forgive My Husband For Cheating

“Should I forgive my cheating husband just because I love him a lot?” Your husband is probably asking you for forgiveness, but you are in a fix because it is hard for you to accept his cheating behaviour, but on the other hand, you love your husband deeply. The fact is you do not know how to forget and forgive his cheating affair, this is why you are struggling so hard on your decision. Here are some advices that will help you to decide if you should forgive your cheating husband.

Calm down your emotion
Almost everyone will feel emotional when they find out a betrayal in a relationship and when you are facing such circumstances, it is best that you tell your spouse that you want some space and time to be left alone. Go for a short holiday or a break to relieve the stress from this marriage. How Do I Forgive My Husband For Cheating

Review on your marriage
It is necessary to understand what went wrong in your marriage. Hear about what your husband say and discuss the things that both of you need to do differently for the marriage to be saved. If your husband is truly regretful about his mistake, he will definitely be very willing to cooperate and work out with you on what is lacking in the marriage.

Rebuild lost trust
If you are still thinking if you should forgive your husband because there is no longer trust in the marriage, take some time and effort to spend more time together again. When your cheating husband wants total forgiveness from you, he will also try hard to bring the marriage back onto the track. If you can give him another chance to build the trust, you will eventually know how to forgive him as well. How Do I Forgive My Husband For Cheating

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Learn To Fight Fair ? Forgive The Cheating Or End The Marriage

How many fights have you had with your partner have ended with something along the lines of “I just can’t get over the fact that you cheated.” You probably didn’t say it that nicely but the point is that whenever you don’t want to deal with the issue you’re really arguing about or you think you can’t win the fight you go back and open the old wound that cheating brought into the relationship.

This might even be your passive aggressive way or turning the dagger a bit by playing on the guilt your partner feels about cheating. Cheating isn’t an insignificant act. As much as you were hurt by it the person who loves you more than anyone else in the world has to live with the knowledge that he or she did something that causes you pain. Every time you seem to be in pain over it the knife is twisted and digs a little deeper.

What does this do to the relationship? It slowly but surely destroys it. The difference between relationships that succeed and those that are doomed to fail is that failing relationships dwell on past events and skate on past emotions (good or bad) while successful relationships are always looking to the future.

You don’t want to forget history altogether. You just don’t want to relive it all the time. There’s no future in the past. Couples need to work on building their relationships. They need to make plans for the future. Relationships, in order to be successful, require a little tending. You are going to have to both put a little time, love, and attention into your relationship in order to make it work.

Here are a few things you can do to work on putting the past behind you and finally looking forward to a better future together.

Spend ten minutes each day talking to and about each other. Don’t use this time to discuss the kids, schedules, or work. Talk about how you like the way your lover smells or smiles or countless other things. This is time to strengthen your relationship.
Work on verbal foreplay to give each other something to look forward to. The goal is to build a sense of anticipation. The time limit is 24 hours. The goal is to work up as much excitement as possible for each other during that 24-hour window of time. Are you up for the challenge?
Start a weekly date night. This is widely recommended by marriage counselors for a reason. It works. It allows the two of you to relate as a couple again rather than two individuals sharing a space or your roles as parents. This is time for you to be a couple and fall in love all over again.

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Will My Husband Forgive Me For Cheating?

You made the biggest mistake in your life and that is to cheat your husband for having affair. You start to wonder, “Will my husband forgive me for cheating?”

It is not easy for your husband to accept the fact of your affair immediately, but it does not mean this is the end of your marriage. If you are truly regretful for cheating on your husband, the only thing that you can do now is to put in effort and win his heart back. Time is the answer to heal the pain and fix the problem in this marriage.

Many women will struggle through the process to heal the marriage after an affair. “Will my husband forgive me” is the question that they will think over and over again. They may feel themselves not as close as before with the husband. The trust between your husband may also be affected after the affair. All these are the problems that you may go through, but your marriage can be saved when you are willing to make changes to the marriage.

Since we cannot change the fact that you cheated on your husband, then you should step forward and make up for the marriage. You should focus to bring back the faith and trust back to the marriage by being honest with your husband all the time. Your husband may react to be more suspicious than last time, take some initiatives to tell him about your whereabouts. If you want your husband to forgive you totally, make sure that you are not keeping in touch with the person that you had an affair with.

This is also the time that you should spend more time with your husband. Plan on dates or holiday together, this can help to bring back the passion into the relationship. Give your husband and yourself more time to understand each other. He will learn to re-accept the new changes in you. Treat your husband with honesty, respect and love. Your husband not only will forgive you but could possibly be more loving than last time.

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Forgive My Husband Cheating – How to Forgive a Cheating Husband

Forgive My Husband Cheating

If you’re found this article, I have no doubt of the pain that you are in right now. I personally know the shock, devastation, and wretched feelings of betrayal that come after you have learned that your husband is cheating. Forgive My Husband Cheating

You feel like someone has punched you in the gut or pulled your legs out from under you. You alternate between not being able to believe it and being furious at the reality of it. You also fear that you are going to feel this way forever and will never be able to get over it and move on.

And even if you want to save your marriage more than anything else, deep down you are afraid that you will open yourself up, let yourself be vulnerable, and that this may one day happen again.

I know that it is almost impossible to believe that these very strong feelings will one day get better, but from my own experience, I can tell you that they will. There are a few things you can do to help this process along which I will discuss in this article.

What You Will Need From Your Husband To Be Able To Forgive Him: I spent a lot of time in counseling and did a lot of research after my husband’s affair and I learned that in order for healing to take place, many women need several things from the husband as follows:

1. You will need for him to disclose all – if that is what you need and want, (but only once the dust has had time to settle. Many women can not handle full disclosure when the pain and shock is still raw.) Trying to protect you or downplay or sugar coat the affair is not going to do either of you any good. You need to understand why he did it and he needs to be willing to communicate this (if not at first, then eventually.) Now, some women would rather not know, and while this is understandable at first, not being honest and putting this into the light will only allow it to fester.

2. A cheating husband needs needs to be remorseful and understand the result of his actions. Most men are truly sorry that they have hurt their wives. I have heard so many wives say “he’s not really sorry about the affair, he’s only sorry he got caught.” I’m not sure that is true.

People who are married generally have empathy for their spouse and would not want to purposefully hurt them.

And, most men if they are honest will tell you the affair was the result of the perception that some need some where was not being met. But, this is not entirely true. It is really their very poor reaction to their belief (which could be incorrect) that they were not getting their needs met. Men who cheat have poor impulse control at the time of the infidelity. Usually later, they greatly regret this and wish they could it take it back. Of course, by then it is too late.

3. A cheating husband needs to give you his wife access to his whereabouts and offer reassurance early in the healing process. It’s understandable that you will need reassurance shortly after you learn about the affair. Of course, over time this need should diminish a bit, but in the beginning, he should be very open to your knowing where he is.

4. After an affair, both husband and wive eventually need to be open to the idea that the affair is a wake up call that can, with work, make your marriage stronger.

Why Forgiving Your Husband Is Often Difficult Due To Conflicting Emotions: In my experience, the hardest thing to deal with regarding an affair is swinging emotions. One day you may begin to be receptive to your husband, and then a couple hours later you will think about him and the other woman and you will become enraged again and want nothing to do with him. Forgive My Husband Cheating

This is of course frustrating to both you and your husband. My husband used to say he couldn’t win no matter what. (For a while, that was true.)

Some days you will feel like you are ready to move forward and then the next day you will wonder if you are really ready for that. Then, you will second guess yourself and feel guilty and wonder if you’re lashing out is going to drive your husband away again.

Understand that these feelings are totally normal. Most every one goes through them. It’s perfectly ok to tell your husband that you are really struggling but that you are working on this. However, this may take time. Openly ask for his patience and tell him that you don’t intend to shut him out or punish him, but that you have to deal with these feelings.

One of the main reasons that you may be having trouble right now is that deep down, you doubt yourself. You begin to think things like: “Was I not pretty enough? Young enough? Exciting enough?”

This kind of self talk is poison and you really have to be conscious of it. What helped me was to say or think the words “not helpful,” when these feelings came up.

Knowing The Difference Between Forgiving And Forgetting Your Husband’s Affair. (Forgiveness Is For You. Not For Him): I read in an awesome book about affairs once that you are never required to forget an affair, but that forgiving an affair is a gift that you give to YOURSELF.

Forgiving a cheating husband is not letting your husband off the hook or giving your power away or giving in. It is not being a door mat. Instead, it is deciding that you are willing to give yourself the gift of letting all of these destructive feelings go for your own well being. You are choosing to free yourself from the toxic feelings that you are holding you hostage.

Also, I’ve found that if you do the work to understand why your husband cheated, forgiving is often easier.

Really, forgiving is knowing that you can handle whatever comes your way so that you don’t have to hold onto these emotions like the anchor that it is which is dragging you down.

No, you can’t wake up one day and just forget and forgive an affair, but I promise that if do a bit of work on yourself and your marriage and you chose the gift of forgiveness for yourself, one day this affair is going to be like any other crises situation marriages go through like the death of your parents or one spouse losing their job.

It’s awful, it’s painful, and you never want to repeat it, but together you can get over it, grow from it, improve because of it, and emerge stronger in the end. Forgive My Husband Cheating

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