Daily Archives: June 11, 2015

Can My Marriage Ever Be The Same After My Husband Cheated On Me?

Wives can feel as if they have lost many things after their husband’s affair. Often you feel as if you’ve lost a little bit of your self esteem, your confidence in your marriage and your husband, and your belief that you are perceptive enough to know what’s going on. Another loss that many wives describe is the predictability in their relationship. Many describe a marriage that “is just different” than the one that existed before the affair.

On my surviving the affair blog, I often hear comments like: “we used to have such an easy rapport and relationship but now things are so strained and awkward.” Or “our marriage used to be filled with laughter and endless conversation but now you could hear a pin drop when we’re together. The laughter has died and in it’s place is pain and silence.” One more example is “we used to be very affectionate to one another. We were always touching or holding hands. Now, we rarely touch one another anymore. It seems like we’re both afraid of doing the wrong thing or of facing rejection. Our marriage right now after his affair is so foreign to me. It’s so different than the one we had before. Will things ever be the same again? Because I want my old life back. I don’t like this new one at all.” I’ll try to address these concerns in the following article.

Your Marriage May Not Be Exactly The Same After The Infidelity. But, If You Rebuild, Your Marriage Can Still Be Happy, Fulfilling, And Sometimes, Even Better: In my experience, it can be unrealistic to think that you can carry on as if nothing happened or that you can turn back time to reveal the exact same marriage as before. Despite your best efforts of your intentions, you often can’t ignore what happened. And, this knowledge will understandably make you a bit cautious and doubtful because you’ve been hurt before.

But many marriages use these doubts and fears as motivation to make positive changes rather than to give in to the negativity that has settled in. Yes, it’s absolutely normal to be angry or even furious that the marriage you thought you knew (or were even happy in) was not exactly what you thought it to be. But one mistake does not mean that your entire marriage was a farce. It doesn’t mean that you and your husband never loved one another, didn’t have a good marriage, or weren’t happy. It simply means that, for whatever reason, you were momentarily vulnerable and unfortunately, one of the spouses acted due to that vulnerability.

Often, the real key to getting your marriage to place where it feels “normal” or similar to what you’ve experienced before is to identify that vulnerability and then to remove it. Because if you can do this, then you can usually also begin to remove some of those doubts. The reason for this is that you’ll then know that the reason for the affair is removed so that you don’t have to constantly worry anymore. And, not only can this be very freeing and such a relief, but often the work that you do to remove those vulnerabilities will actually improve your marriage.

Couples often find that they are forced to be truly honest, open, and forthcoming. They are no longer reluctant to discuss any worrisome issues with or to reach out to their spouse because they now know the danger of doing so. Also, often an affair will show both people just how close they have come to losing their marriage or their spouse. This is often a wake up call that isn’t other wise possible. By no means am I saying that an affair can be a positive thing. But, I do believe that it can bring about positive changes for your marriage if you use it to motivate you rather than allowing it to weaken your marriage to the point of no return.

Identify What You Most Miss About Your Spouse Or Your Marriage And Be Very Proactive About Getting It Back: If you’re in a situation where you’re mourning what you have lost, you don’t have to just accept that the life that you knew is gone forever or that you will never get it back. For example, the wife in the above scenario missed the easy rapport and the continuous physical affection that she and her husband shared. Being able to identify and then to focus on these things are the first steps toward getting them back.

But rather than merely accepting this loss, be very proactive about rebuilding these aspects of your relationship. This is hard for many people because reaching out again to someone who has betrayed or disappointed you can make you feel very vulnerable and even a little foolish. But, unless you want to continue to live in a marriage that is missing something, you will sometimes have to step outside of your comfort zone and take a chance. I know that sometimes when you do this, you have the sinking feeling that you’re going to be hurt again. But if you don’t take that chance, you will never know what your marriage could have been.

Countless couples are able to create an even stronger and more open marriage after an affair because they come to learn the vulnerabilities and lacking that were present. Addressing your issues is sometimes uncomfortable but it is often worth it because it makes you not only stronger, but more aware of your spouse’s wants and needs and just how badly it feels when you face the threat of loosing them.

I sometimes hear women say that their husband’s affair was the best thing that ever happened to them or their marriage. I wouldn’t take it that fair. If I had the choice, I wish my husband’s affair had never happened to us. But, at the same time, I can look back at it now and see where the work we did really did improve our marriage and make it even better in some ways than it was before. So while our marriage isn’t technically the same, it’s actually improved in some areas and we’re pretty darn happy. My answer to the posed question would be that, although it’s unlikely that your marriage will be exactly the same, you can return it to a happy and fulfilling place.

If you would’ve told me two years ago that I would have a happy marriage again today, I would have never believed you. My marriage went through some very dark days and there were times when I thought we would never get through it, but we did and we’re actually better off in some ways for it. If it helps, you can read more of my story on my blog at http://surviving-the-affair.com/

Katie Lersch writes articles about moving past an affair.  Her corresponding blog is at http://surviving-the-affair.com/.  Her article website is at http://katie-lersch-articles.com

Step by step convert MTS to MP4 on Windows 7

 

“How do I save recorded videos in a common file type, other than “.MTS” with my Canon Vixia HG20 HD camcorder ?” “How to Convert HD MTS to 720p MP4 for iPad on Windows 7?”

Canon Vixia always record video in AVCHD.MTS files, if you just want to save your MTS files to MP4 for iPad, iPod, iPhone, Apple tv, Adobe Premiere etc device or application, there are many tools can help you.
Note: this guides is only for Windows user. If you using Mac OS, Please Click here to learn convert mts to .mp4 for ipod, iphone, appletv, itunes, quicktime on mac.

iSquint

iSquint is an iPod video conversion app for Mac OS X. It’s many times faster than QuickTime Pro, works with almost all popular video formats, and it’s infinitely free-er.

1:Fast MPEG-4 and H.264 conversion from almost every popular video format.
2:DivX/XviD AVIs, MPEG video, and many other formats QuickTime chokes supported.
3:Batch Processing of multiple files. Save in-place, or to a different folder.
4:Automatic aspect ratio detection. Anamorphic MPEG-2 and HDV detected too.
5:Certain types of files converted to plain MPEG-4 no longer show up without video in QuickTime Player 7.4 and higher.

User steps:
Just drag in your file, and click Start. You can also choose “TV” or “iPod” size, set your quality, or even go all-out by playing in the Advanced drawer.

MPEG Streamclip
MPEG Streamclip is a freeware video editor/converter for MPEG-1/MPEG-2, and transport streams. It can play, edit and export a variety of formats, using a compatible QuickTime codec. It can convert between MPEG/MPEG-2 type formats with no loss of video quality. It can convert between formats compatible with QuickTime.

Then, let us see, whether iSquint or MPEG Streamclip are suit for you.

iSquint is only for mac user, if you are a Windows user, you may not need it. Other cons: Nag to switch to VisualHub; Sound conversion isn’t always great.

MPEG Streamclip can be user for Windows, however, if you want to convert MTS files to MP4, it is not a easy thing, you need the compatible QuickTime codec always.

However, there is also another way can help you-use MTS to MP4 converter, with it, you can easily convert MTS to .mp4 from Canon, Sony, Panasonic, JVC etc to 720P MP4, other resolution MP4, H.264, MPEG-4, M4V to iPod, iPad, iPhone etc by just three simple steps on Windows 7, vista, xp, you do not need anything to help you.

Tips: MP4 is short for Moving Picture Expert Group-4. It is a multimedia container format standard specified as a part of MPEG-4 and is most commonly used to store digital audio and digital video streams.It is usually supported by many softwares such as Apple Quick Time Player, Apple iTunes, Roxio Creator 2009, Video LAN VLC media player and other movies players.

Step by step convert MTS to MP4 on Windows 7, vista, xp

Step1: Download “MTS to MP4 converter”, install and run it on your PC

Step2: Add MTS files, set output as MP4 etc, save

Step3: Edit MTS files
“Crop” and “Apply effect” ” Clip”  “Setting resolution”

Step4: Click Convert button to convert MTS files to 720P MP4, then import converted MTS files to MP4 iPod touch, iPod, iPad, iPhone etc easily.

Read more: MTS to MP4 Converter