I often hear from wives and girlfriends who tell me that they “know” in their hearts that their husband or boyfriend is cheating, but so far, they can’t find any proof. Of course, their husband denies everything and tries to make them think that this is all in their head, so their being unable to come up with concrete proof isn’t helping matters.
I often maintain that the vast majority of the time, the proof is there if you know where to look. Sometimes, people are not as aggressive as they could be about looking because they are hesitant to really look at or know the truth. Other times, they don’t want to be caught. And sometimes, they really are just hoping that they are wrong and wonder that if perhaps they back off, this whole thing might go away.
However, if you really want concrete proof of cheating, you will often find it if you ask yourself how your husband could be carrying out the cheating and then following up accordingly. Think about it. The cheating doesn’t happen in a vacuum. Your husband has to plan, communicate, and then carry this out. This entire process is bound to leave a trace and clues. He can’t physically be with another person in his car, online, or through his phone without there being a trail.
Yes, he can delete his phone or internet history. He can clean out his car. He can try to cover his tracks. But at the end of the day, he can’t erase everything and there is technology and tools that can overcome these obstacles. You really have to take a hard look at the possible tools that he could be using to carry this out and then use your own tools to pick up the trail and uncover the loose ends that are there.
I understand why wives hesitate to have their husbands followed or to follow him themselves. It’s very hard to even consider seeing what you suspect. But you don’t always have to physically follow him on foot (or have him followed) to know what is going on, although this is often an accurate way to learn what’s happening.
Be very observant toward him. Because often, he will get noticeably uncomfortable when you are getting close to a potential tip off or clue. For example, some cheaters don’t want you in their car or don’t want you over their shoulder when they are texting or on the computer. Or, they may tell you that they will wash their own clothes or clean out their own briefcase or car. Maybe they’ll suddenly take a liking to online banking when this has never interested them before.
The point is, whenever you see him becoming uncomfortable or doing something that he hasn’t previously done which gives you pause, this is how you know that you might be getting close to a clue or something that he doesn’t want you noticing or following up on. And, this of course, is precisely where you want to look or follow, if you are sure that you really do want to know if he’s cheating and really do want proof of the same.
I was in this same situation a short time ago. My heart knew that he was cheating, but my head didn’t want to acknowledge it. I told myself there was no real proof. But deep down, I knew I was kidding myself. After thinking on it for a long time, I decided that I really wanted to know the truth, no matter what that truth was. I learned how to get concrete information and proof that my husband thought that he had hid and erased. And I found exactly what I feared. You can read a very personal story at http://catch-the-cheating.com/
Seeta’s catch cheating site is at http://catch-the-cheating.com/