Daily Archives: February 25, 2014

How Do You Respect Your Husband After He Cheats On You? Tips And Advice That Might Help

I often hear from wives who are struggling with many issues after their husbands cheat or have an affair. One very common issue is that of respect. Since husbands lie and cheat while they are unfaithful, it can be hard to respect someone who has shown these attributes.

I recently heard from a wife who said, in part: “I’m finding it very hard to respect my husband after he cheated on me. I now know that he lied to me for a good four months. There were times when he told me he was working and couldn’t make my children’s events when in fact he was with her. The other day, I actually heard him scolding my son for stretching the truth and it made me so angry. Who is he to lecture someone else about honesty when he lied to his family for months? Every time I look at him, I can’t help thinking that he’s a liar and a cheat. I want to hold my family together for the sake of my kids. But how can I do that when I don’t trust or respect my husband? And respect is a very important attribute to me. I was always so proud that my husband was a man of integrity and honor, but now that image of him is destroyed. How can I ever respect him again when he’s lied to me and cheated on me?”

This is a difficult but common situation. After all, the personality traits that come out when people cheat or have affairs (like dishonesty, secrecy, and betrayal) aren’t often attributes that we associate with respect. And once we lose respect for our spouse, we can begin to wonder if it’s even possible to get it back. It’s my belief that in some cases, you can restore the respect after your spouse cheats (if you both have the determination and the patience to do so) but it certainly isn’t always easy.

I will discuss this more in the following article.

What Really Inspires Respect And What is Lost After Someone Cheats?: Respect is something that is generally earned over a period of time. I don’t think that it’s possible to respect someone without knowing them very intimately. Generally, we respect someone when we recognize the qualities and the attributes that we ourselves admire. For example, if we value integrity, discipline, and empathy, then we will respect someone who we believe consistently displays these qualities.

In this example, the wife shared that she had always seen her husband as a man of integrity. She had watched him be honest at great personal and professional costs because he believed that this was the right thing to do. So, it was quite shocking and disappointing to her now when she witnessed him not only being dishonest, but being dishonest to her. The thought of him sneaking around while she thought he was somewhere else repulsed her and she wasn’t sure if she would ever see him in the same way again, or even if she wanted to.

How Is It Possible To Restore The Respect After Your Spouse Cheats Or Has An Affair? From my own experience after being cheated on by my husband, I believe that it’s possible to restore the respect, but I would never tell you that it’s easy. The key is to be open to allowing your spouse to earn that respect back over a long period of time. It’s not realistic to think that you can just immediately decide to respect someone who has let you down. But, it can be realistic to think that you will be open to watching and observing them for a good while to see if they can earn it back.

And here’s another thing to consider that is often missed. Very often, there are multiple reasons that we respect our spouse. Yes, honesty and integrity are huge issues. But, often we fail to see the things that are still there because of our own anger and resentment (which is understandable.) For example, the wife in this situation admitted that she had always respected her husband’s generosity and empathy. He was very active in their community and gave generously of his time and his money to those in need. The wife loved that about him. And, she was eventually able to admit that he never lost these attributes. He still was very giving of himself even after the infidelity and during the fall out that ensued. She also was very drawn to his intellect, discipline, and determination – which were all things that he was showing her while he was trying to save his marriage.

So while she had to admit there were areas where he did not have her respect (like honesty and integrity) there were other attributes that she still admired and respected. This gave her encouragement that, at some time in the future, he might be able to regain her respect.

Granted, there was a long road ahead. Over time, he had to show his wife that it was safe for her to trust him because he was consistently 100% honest. This was just going to take some time. Looking further into the future, she would need to see him as a person of high integrity who had no intention of repeating the same mistakes. The husband had to be very careful to never let his wife down or to conduct himself in any way that wasn’t completely truthful and honest.

Sometimes, Respecting The Person Is Different Than Respecting The Person’s Actions: I know that it might be hard to envision that you could ever separate your husband from his actions. But with time, many find that this is possible (as long as their spouse’s actions encourages and are in line with this.) As hard as it can be to believe, it’s sometimes possible to look back on the affair as something that you were both able to overcome (and this can actually inspire respect.)

I know that this may sound odd. But as I look back on my own process, I can’t help but remember that sometimes my husband hung in there and showed patience and poise that was frankly not in line with the anger and nastiness that I was throwing his way. I’m not saying that he didn’t deserve this, but during those difficult days, he showed some of the steadiness and calm that I had always really loved about him. And this was one of the things that made me realize that, although I certainly didn’t respect his recent choices, I did still have at least some respect for the person.

Although I never would’ve believed this two years ago, after some struggles, my marriage is stronger than ever after my husband’s affair. It took a lot of work, and I had to play the game to win, but it was worth it. Because of all the work I did on myself, my self esteem is in tact. I no longer worry my husband will cheat again. If it helps, you can read more of that personal story on my blog at http://surviving-the-affair.com/

 

Katie Lersch writes articles about moving past an affair.  Her corresponding blog is at http://surviving-the-affair.com/.  Her article website is at http://katie-lersch-articles.com

Wii HDTV cables

Wii HDTV cables are an amazing connector between TV and Nintendo Wii which ensure the video and audio transmission to the high quality. You might have been annoyed by your normal composite cables which have low quality working performance. Wii HDTV cables are very nice fellow for your daily use. One of the most interesting functioning mechanisms of these wii HDTV cables is that they transmit the brightness and colors along the various paths which make the processing separate. Standard AV cable cannot provide you the much clearer image quality as they are not much compatible to work that much but the wii HDTV cables are designed in such a way that it is smart enough to transmitting the audio and video data to your TV with great quality. They do not dump data and this is why efficiency is very high. They are available in lengthy size of around 1.8 meter which will be enough to connect in the Nintendo wii. You might have been using normal cables for your Nintendo wii and you might have been convinced that this is the high quality display on your TV but it might be false, you will be amazed after using this wii HDTV cables which will make high quality of graphics on your TV. By using wii HDTV cables an extra interest will be added to the game.

Wii HDTV cables are available at very reasonable prices but the performance is amazing. High Resolution S-AV HDTV EDTV Component Cable for Nintendo Wii Console is one of the nicest models among the wii HDTV cables that has very strong cable with smooth finishing that will also make the appearance elegant. Just following the simple steps of connecting you will be able to get high resolution of video and audio and this will provide more entertainment while playing a game.

It is very easy to carry; it is possible to put it inside a small pocket of the bag. Wii HDTV cables is the one important thing for you if you really want to enjoy high-definition picture quality on your TV while playing games. Wii HDTV cables are very easy to plug and unplug unlike other connectors they are just perfect i.e. not too much tight and not too much loose.

Compact structure ensures their smart look and great efficient. They have capacity to remain cool throughout the connection time, while heating can be the problem using other cables.

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